dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
