he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
