Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
