And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
