Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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