It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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