I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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