when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
