I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
