You work out of a Hotel?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
