Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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