tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
