Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
