so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
