The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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