tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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