Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
