haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize