he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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