My pussy is not your playground.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
