im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
