he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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