Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
