as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
