He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
