office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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