Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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