he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
