I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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