so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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