Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
