my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
