That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
