you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
