don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
