Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
