I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
