I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
