omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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