He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
40s are totally the cure
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Randomize
