I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
