..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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