then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
