This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
