And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We have started to decorate penises.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
