high people should be assigned attendants
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You made out with two different species that night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
