I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
