I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
