Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
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