Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
