lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize