Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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