Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
