talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
