my mouth tastes like poor choices
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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