Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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