Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
