Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's shark week go big or go home
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
