Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
